A Natural Hair and fashion lifestyle blog based in Sonoma County, in the heart of Wine Country. Amber serves up inspiration for winery tourism, vegetarian recipes, style, and skincare.

It's Just a Moment


I’ve been feeling a little down lately. Nothing too over the top - rather it comes in fleeting moments of fear, or a sudden pang of questioning everything. It doesn’t last; it’s just a moment. Today so far I’ve had a couple of those moments. I’m still in my pajamas, contacts not in, and teeth still not brushed.


Scent is a powerful memory trigger. An intoxicating elixir that can trigger moments of memory seemingly forgotten. Today I’m wearing Coco Chanel. It’s rich, warm, and reminds me of trailer parks. It reminds me of the times when my boyfriend and I used to sleep on a twin mattress, before I had a proper closet, and before I had a job that I was regularly scheduled for. We lived in a tiny studio apartment (just one of two) that was also part of a trailer park. A meth lab blew up there once. Every spring there were beautiful cherry blossoms that the breeze would blow off the branches, and on to my doorstep. The same doorstep that a cocaine dealer was arrested on Thanksgiving day. The same doorstep that baby frogs used to slip under when it rained.


I used to hang large white sheets from the ceiling. I could never find a hammer, so I used to use the heel of my favorite shoe: Balancing on my bed, hair a mess, teeth un-brushed, hammering nails into the ceiling with my Miu Miu heels. I would then take a shower, do my makeup and get dressed. I didn’t have a tripod then so I would balance my Sony point and shoot on the counter, on top of a can of powdered Ghirardelli baking chocolate. Self-timer. Pose. Smile. Flash. Edit. Those were my days.


Things are different now. No more meth labs, no more cherry blossoms. My boyfriend and I now live close to a nature reserve: a towering mountain that either lies behind or before me, depending on where I stand. I’m sure there’s a metaphor. Things are different now. We have furniture. A queen sized bed. Separate rooms.

I’ve been feeling a little down lately. Nothing too over the top - rather it comes in fleeting moments of fear, or a sudden pang of questioning everything. It doesn’t last; it’s just a moment. Scent is a powerful memory trigger. And today, it’s Coco Chanel. 
© A•Mused

This site uses cookies from Google to deliver its services - Click here for information.

A Mused Blog | A Northern California Sonoma County Blog